Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
