Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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