I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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