did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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