Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
