And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
