I think I am morally bankrupt
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Terrible idea I love it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
