No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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