there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
