im drinking this country out of the recession.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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