The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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