if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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