And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
