This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
