We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
