between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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