Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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