I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
