My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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