Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
