The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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