I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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