how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
