my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's great music for shaving your balls
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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