i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
