The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
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Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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