Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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