i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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