You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
