its not stalking. its research.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
