The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
