dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ladies don't puke and tell
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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