I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
