I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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