I just made out with a guy for $7.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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