So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
