your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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