I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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