I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
