I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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