I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
