I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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