is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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