so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
