Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
