Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
