just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
