omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
