when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
