I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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