so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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