The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
