just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
