Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
