You smell like stripper and shame
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
