Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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