He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
