I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
