I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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