my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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