In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize