talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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