look no pants
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
