Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
