Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
