She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
