just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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